June, 25 2008

She was 94...

Yesterday, I gave a laugh/joy presentation to a group of staffers and residents of an assisted living community and friends of all of the above. Approximately 40 people signed up for the event, which was the first in a series of lectures/workshops for this Florida area. Attending were a mix of men and women, middle-aged and older -- all seemed healthy and vital. I was giving my usual spiel about how we find happiness and ways we could laugh over virtually nothing. The audience was very responsive and we were laughing and talking and having a wonderful time. In the front row of the audience was a woman, who wanted to help me along and she would occasionally insert a remark. I was attentive to her and, since she had a small voice, I would repeat what she said for those in the back of the room. I thought that she might be a little hard of hearing. She was very tiny. She was dressed beautifully and had her blonde (obviously colored quite an interesting "Marilyn Monroe" shade) hair done just so. She wore a necklace and earrings and little heels. The gentleman next to her said to me about the third time I carried out the ritual of saying what she had said: "By the way, she is going to be 94 in August." I couldn't believe it -- she really looked 20 years younger. Then she said: "If you want to stay young, "Eat good food and have a good time." I repeated that since that was certainly part of my message to this audience. Then she said: "I take two busses and go to the Mall so I can buy things for myself." She clearly recommended that. I was mighty impressed. Florida is a place where everyone takes motorized transportation. We have seniors who putter around in golf carts and take them to the stores but we don't have a lot of busses. But this woman had figured out a way to keep her independence and indulge her whimsy. Hooray for her! She will remain in my memory as someone who enjoys life and her longevity proves that the favor is being returned. It's so easy to say that we can't do something or that getting old means the loss of certain things...It doesn't have to be. My mother might have said, "Where's there's a will, there's a way." For sure!

June, 09 2008

The message

A great quote: Every moment looking back keeps us from going forward! That's what Senator Clinton said in her speech on Saturday. How many of us can live that message? I believe Senator Clinton does and will continue to do so and I hope all of my friends and family will also.

I have a friend, who moved to Jacksonville more than 30 years ago, who still talks about her last city as if she left it yesterday. Or the divorce that happened 25 years ago...she/he can still tell you what evil lurks in the mind of the other.

MOVE ON!

If we do, we can expect that life will reward us for our commitment to the present. Living in the now is a gift that keeps giving.

I hope you are enjoying this very minute.

June, 04 2008

Be You

Russell Simmons wrote a marvelous book called "Do You." I'm just not sure that it goes far enough. Being You is the most important path you will ever follow. I didn't say it was easy because by the times we are adults, we seem to have listened to so many people that we don't even know what it is like to be ourselves. We can find it. What do you like to wear? What do you like to eat? What do you like to do? What makes your heart sing? Who do you like to spend time with? When do you want to go to bed? When do you want to wake up? The greatest artists have created masterpieces following their own inspiration. Beethoven wrote music that made his heart sing -- he might be pleased that I love it -- maybe not. Many of my clients want me to tell them what they should do. Many seek outside counsel, read books, listen to tapes, or spend eons of time searching for "how" to do something. We search and search and search.

Don't get me wrong...I think reading, listening, and talking are terrific but only if they add to your wisdom and knowledge and enhance you. Being you doesn't mean being stupid but I often see is smart, effective people spend huge amounts of time trying to find the so-called right way when they might take their collective knowledge and do something even better than it has been done before. What has become a substitute in your life for being you? Each time we discover our own essence, it's meeting a powerful truth. Be you -- I promise you that you will have your own hallelujah moment.

May, 24 2008

Patience

The other day, our yoga teacher read a passage on "patience" for us to contemplate during class. I thought about patience from that point forward -- during class and after --because I will readily admit to being impatient. In fact, while I consider impatience a weakness, I also think of it as a strength because I'm proud of the fact that I'm eager to accomplish my objectives. I have often stayed up very late, put in extra time and sweated a myriad of details because I was invested in a project that I wanted to be the best it could be. I rarely ever have let "things" take care of themselves. Right there in class I was having a very strong AHA! moment. I saw that the impetus for my impatience was not just my commitment to seek excellence, it was also because I lack trust. I have this necessity to do, do, do and I'm admitting now that the weakness is far broader than I thought. We cannot do it all. Others can help us only if we trust them. Situations come together to make our finished product better than we could have imagined when we trust that we have done our part and surrender and WAIT.

I still believe that you give everything you have to whatever you are doing. I now understand that the process includes elements beyond what one individual is able to accomplish. It may mean trusting in co-workers, family members, the system or more. It may even mean we don't know what's happening for a while -- as John Naisbitt once wrote in describing that period between the parentheses. We know what has happened before the first parenthesis and we "kinda" have an idea what will be the conclusion but what will occur in between? That takes maturity and maturity takes patience and patience takes trust.

I feel like I've had an important lesson.