May, 13 2008

Breakthrough

I always wondered about the word, breakthrough...clients have reported that they have had a breakthrough and I've tried to understand what they were breaking through and the closest image that I could conjure was something that looked like slogging through muck into sunshine. And then recently I had such a breakthrough and I now have a new and better understanding. What happened to me though is that I thought I was moving forward but the reality was that I was merely letting go (once again) of some resistance and then I had a freedom and expansion that I hadn't had just moments before. An image of resistance could be having a noose of our own making around our throats choking us. Resistance is like having cement shoes. Resistance is like having a horse pulling us in the opposite direction from where we want to go. And the irony is...we make our own resistance. It is entirely fabricated by its owner. Letting it go may not be easy --it's just the only way. What feels like we are making a huge stride is merely dropping the weight that is holding us down. I know, I know, I know...if we only knew how. Well, here are some tips. Remind yourself that it is your resistance. Shrug your shoulders when you feel resistance (and you always feel it somewhere in your body) and tell yourself that it is just resistance and invite it to leave. You really don't have to spend hours identifying what caused the resistance or planning a strategy for alleviating it. That could make it worse. Honest! Be gentle with yourself. Look toward the goal or objective that you want. Then distract yourself. (Sometimes it takes a lot to divert attention and it often needs to go on for a while.) Eventually the resistance will dissolve. It always does. (That is why you have experienced so many "breakthroughs.") Once that particular resistance leaves you, you are free to take those nice big steps toward being all you can be. It sounds easy. Well, that's because it really is!

April, 23 2008

A Book

I'm excited. I finally am focussing on a subject for a book that I'm beginning to write. The working title is: "Things aren't necessarily what we think they are." I've done the prologue, which is a personal story and I also have the subjects of several essays, which I've outlined. Hooray! I've wanted to do this for quite a while. Yes, I'm sure that it's an ego thing and it is also a profound desire to encourage readers to investigate their beliefs, their judgements and their assumptions. I know that one of my passions is helping my friends, colleagues, and clients peel back the layers of their onions. Now, I know that's not new -- but what's new anyway? I have my unique spin on this and that's the point. We all see the same thing in many different ways and it strikes me that it is incumbent upon us all to inspect the prism in such a way that it talks to us -- makes us more flexible -- more understanding toward others. We owe it to ourselves to always dig deeper. That's what the great philosophers used to do. It's what thinkers have always done. Things aren't necessarily what we think they are! When I told a friend about this subject, she told me about this little episode, which happened to her on a cold winter morning in Washington, D.C. She had parked her car in an underground parking lot of a small office building. It was late morning and no one was in sight. But as she entered the foyer where the elevator was, she saw a man in his late 20's, wearing what the kids call ghetto clothes: baggy pants, oversize shirt, jacket, cap. He had earplugs in his ears and seemed to be in another world. As the elevator doors opened, she had no choice but to step with him though her heart was beating and she felt very unsafe. The man kept staring at her. It took a few minutes for the elevator to begin its ascent. After a minute or two the man looked at her and as her mind whirred, he said simply: "Nice glasses." In a million years, she would not have expected that. So you see, often, -- Things are not necessarily what we think they are!"

April, 06 2008

Don't hold back.

What is about most men and women? We think thoughts but we don't express our opinion.

We plan actions that we never take.

We think we'll stick it out to the end but then we give in at the slightest provocation.

This is unhealthy. It's not good for us physically, mentally, or emotionally to withhold to the extent that most of us do.

I presume that the reason is fear but when you ask yourself the question: "What will happen if...? -- almost nothing terrible comes up. Maybe someone will be angry -- maybe someone will retaliate (but in those cases it is often something we could handle) -- maybe we will lose a friend, alienate someone. Whatever! The surprising thing is that our withholding rarely changes that. The relationship is either already strained or will be. The situation isn't working as it is now anyway. It's likely that we are settling for an o.k. settlement (don't rock the boat, folks) but if we look closely, it's not o.k.

As much as you can, whenever you need to, don't hold back. Be kind certainly. Be generous of course. Be thoughtful always. Maintain your dignity, BUT, take care of you and be honest and forthright. At the end of the day, everyone is better off.

March, 25 2008

Stop the Presses!

Stopping the presses is a good idea because the content, objectivity, and relevance in journalism seem to be missing today. It appears to be more and more like entertainment -- and not very good entertainment at that. The viewer, listener, reader has choices and I, for one, am choosing not to pollute my brain with bad stuff. It's funny -- we worry about damaging the environment, or sending bad messages to our children, but we don't seem too concerned with the junk we feed our brain. What we take in has an effect. Make no mistake, garbage alters our thinking. It changes us. It robs us of creativity. We must rediscover the power we have within -- end the "herd" mentality. Think on our own -- make up our own minds. We can: Listen to music; read good books; watch classic movies; play cards and games with our friends and families; go for longer walks; enjoy silence; call someone we love or like. We can: give up judgement; accept our imperfection and that of others; have good conversations; learn something; go somewhere we haven't been before; do something we haven't done before. The truth is we hold the future in our hands and each of us makes a difference. We can spread hopefulness. We can begin an epidemic of optimism. We need each other more than ever -- not to spread the cancer of fear but to honor our innate goodness. Break out of your box, please, and walk in courage with style and passion. Be my guidance and let me be yours. Live life to its fullest every minute.