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August, 21 2006 At the beginning Lots of things are hard at the beginning. I remember when I had my first child and I thought that I would never EVER have enough time for a real shower or planned time for myself again. Of course, it was probably just days later that I had settled into a routine and life was calm again. (Never was there a reason for me to become upset.) I have started new tasks and felt nothing but angst at the way I was progressing but, in short order, I was well on my way and soon what was really difficult was just a piece of cake! However, knowing all of that doesn't necessarily keep the stress away as I face a new endeavor. And I am ashamed to admit it but there are times that I might not try something new because the learning curve seems so steep or the expected effort may not seem worthwhile. I encounter this with friends and colleagues too. They don't know about a certain subject and they are oftentimes defiant in insisting that they don't need to know. Oh, please! We all have the ability to learn -- maybe we have different strengths and weaknesses and maybe it will take me a longer time to master a project than it would you but so WHAT? Giving up is the wrong signal because each time we stop learning we reinforce the notion to ourselves that we are not good enough to.......(whatever that may be!) It is so important to remember whether you are starting something like a new exercise program or taking on a major technology -- It will become easier. It may become fun. It will make you happy with yourself.
August, 14 2006 The record is stuck... Do you ever have an issue that won't leave your head -- no matter what. It keeps replaying and you keep trying to figure it out and it keeps replaying and nothing changes. STUCK! Well, I'm stuck. I have a situation and I am angry and frustrated by it. I keep going over it and over it and over it in my mind. Nothing is changing unless it's me being more frustrated than I was. It's likely that from this place I'm not going to figure it out or move on. I know what I need to do -- that's to release all the resistance I am feeling. Even -- and this is tough -- think about something else -- anything else -- so I can ultimately release the needle that won't move out of the groove. Usually I can see that when I'm in a position like this that it is serving me. Boy, I don't see that this time. All I know is that I want something to happen and it's not working and I want to blame it on someone. And here's what I know for sure -- (even in the midst of my pain and discomfort) -- I am here because of ME. No one else is doing anything to me. I have somehow invited this situation in and I just don't think I'll let go, even though it is making me miserable. Aren't we strange creatures? If I described the issue to you, you would no doubt agree with me -- I've done that and my friends and colleagues have rallied to my support. (They mean while but they probably ought to tell me that I'm full of it.) I do know that's this discomfort is self-initiated. I am responsible for creating my own reality and while I hate the position I'm in (resistance), I want it to be around for some perverse reason (fear of what would happen if this situation was not in my life.) My goodness, I'm feeling better already. I won't go so far as to say that I'm getting pleasure from my pain but the "pain" isn't new because other scenarios have played out that are similar to this and it's familiar. And what's on the other side is unknown and likely scaring me in some way. Hence...STUCK. Well, thank you for letting me rant. I feel a little better already. I know that, at least intellectually, I'm ready for what's coming and I see so much more clearly now the anatomy of this current dilemma. That's a step in the right direction!
August, 02 2006 It's a Laughing Matter Or, it's no laughing matter. Here's the problem. People aren't laughing much anymore. I have just designed a "laugh" workshop for companies, associations, caregivers, families and groups of individuals because laughing is really good for us. However statistics say that adults laugh far less often than children and laughter diminishes a little more each year. I attended a seminar a couple of weeks ago on laughter and learned a number of techniques and I am SO impressed with the results of a good laugh. Many years ago, I read Norman Cousins book, "Anatomy of an Illness." He was in the hospital, wracked with pain, and he would watch funny movies and after some good laughter, he would be free of pain for as much as two hours. Ask anyone who is sick what a relief that would be -- it's HUGE! So when I have found myself feeling under the weather, I have looked for mild or major distractions and I, too, have always found that it worked to one degree or another. And I learned in my training that laughter strengthens the immune system (that means you stay healthier and we all want that!) Laughter provides strong cardiovascular effects. People who laugh together work together better. Laughter relieves stress and prevents negative tension. In fact, laughing has no drawbacks. SO...when you select what you will be watching on TV, think humor. When you decide what to read, keep the light stuff in the pile. Have some fun with friends and laugh a little. With the young people you interact with, SMILE. Let them tell you a joke and when they laugh, you'll laugh. Because laughter is contagious. Become part of the trend -- see the joy. Let's laugh!
(For info on my new workshop: "Laughing All the Way to the Bank." or to have a Happy Hour in your business, e-mail me: beth@beth-cole.com)
July, 23 2006 Talking to myself Lately I have been talking to myself more than I usually do. It's because I was awakened to a fact recently, which is about how effective our own inner voice can be in guiding us. What I say to myself can give me strength, satisfaction, and answers. I can forgive myself and others when necessary. I can honor the positive actions I have taken. I can acknowledge results that I have achieved. I can let go of negative thoughts. When I feel a certain tension in the pit of my stomach, I can go in and release it by understanding that it is there and knowing that I'm doing the best I can at the moment. Carl Jung said: "Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." Both are so necessary to our ongoing enjoyment of life's process. I do meditate everyday -- that's a time when I quiet my mind. But now I'm listening to my "head" a little more. Paying attention to what my thoughts are and when they aren't positive, I play a little release game. When they are instructive, I take notes. And when they want me to forgive, I do that too. I know that it has made me much happier and so I pass it on. I have always told my clients to heed their "inner-knower" and now what I know for sure is that the more we pay attention to our thoughts the easier it is to follow our inner-knower. It produces many moments of pure joy.
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